welcome to the organic green doctor blog

i am a family physician who was diagnosed with
early mild cognitive impairment(mci) amnestic type on december 21, 2010
this is a precursor to alzheimers disease
because of this diagnosis i have opted to stop practicing medicine
this blog will be about my journey with this disease
please feel free to follow me along this path
i will continue blogging on organic gardening, green living,
solar power, rainwater collection, and healthy living
i will blog on these plus other things noted to be interesting

Friday, January 18, 2019

alzheimers news-a sad story

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my historian brother sent me a newspaper article that a distant cousin had sent him from an out of state newspaper
its a sad story

this distant cousin said this person in the article was a more distant cousin

i recently made a family tree of dementia and posted it
this cousin came of a branch of my dads sister that i dont ever recall seeing so i dont know if my aunt had dementia like her brother and her sister and her mother had
my dad my aunt and my paternal grandmother
dementia is riddled all through out our family tree

this 86 year old women was found standing over her husband with a broken bloody cane
she had beat him to death
she was confused and didnt make sense when the neighbor who called the police and the police talked to her
they said she was obviously had mental difficulties
she had dementia and being my distant relative probably has alzheimers disease

she was handcuffed and shuffled to jail and is charged with murder

usually when you see someone killed and its alzheimers related the person has turned a gun on themselves and committed suicide
a loved one has taken mercy on them and shot them or overdosed them or like a story i read about in the paper last week a husband smothered his wife with a pillow

is this lady guilty
what should happen to her

are the spouses guilty of murder
what should happen to them

just take a minute and think about what society should do

i remember worrying about my younger brother who had alzheimers disease having access to his guns he used in his job as a deputy sheriff and guns he used to sport hunt
the family removed them from the home

usually when someone has alzheimers disease they cant figure out how to commit suicide since the disease has advanced too far like in the movie still alice when she couldnt find her pills she had saved to overdose on
as someone who thinks of what it will be like in the future for me it does enter your mind sometimes
at what point does it happen
it seems to be uncommon that a dementia patient commits suicide though
you want to extract the most out of your cognitive lights as long as you can so you can enjoy them before the cognitive lights go off and you cant turn them back on

i think about frequently what my younger brother and mom were thinking and feeling as their disease progressed

when did they know they had a problem
at what point did their cognitive lights go out
i guess it was more like a dimming switch

for me i know i guess since im tested so much and i am more acutely aware of my memory  i seem to be more aware of whats normal for my age and whats not normal
it will i guess be easier for me to know when things start dimming before my lights go out before that dim switch goes click

one of my fears is that i become the opposite of the person that i am now
like my younger brother did later into his disease
like my mom did later into her disease
i dont want to go there

also i have requested that my wife she doesnt photograph me or let others photograph me as my disease progresses
i want folks to remember as i am now
i thought more about this when i looked through my cousins book she wrote on her moms dementia journey and saw the pictures of her in the wheelchair with that obvious alzheimers stare

when the lights go off leave them off

the organicgreen doctor

Thursday, January 17, 2019

whered they go


i wondered this a lot the day we thought we were being attacked by the drone but it turned out to be the space x rocket zooming overhead as we walked in the butterfly grove
see the blog what a way to go for the full story

as we walked we saw all these signs that said do not enter its dangerous
we walked past the signs down the pathways through the grove

we have lived here two falls and have came here in november december january looking for all those butterflies
on that particular day we saw 3
well it may have been the same one that just followed us through our law breaking journey
i was looking for those thousands and thousands of monarchs that would stay there each winter for about 3 months
i read about it in a book i was given on hikes in this area
noting that the book was 20 so years old
apparently at the time of the hike books publication these monarchs came through and stayed for 3 months or so
now they like millions of other monarchs are just gone

not long ago i read this best seller fiction novel that with the story gives you a good history of the monarchs
it made me want to see those strands of monarchs holding onto the eucalyptus limbs starting to flutter as the sun warmed them up
getting to see hundreds of them flying around through the forest


alas we only got to see three or one we saw three times
it was pretty flitting around in the morning sunlight
i can only imagine what it looked like just a few years ago with hundreds fluttering around

why whats happening to the monarchs
climate change
maybe roundup
urban sprawl
habitat loss
severe drought

at this area in 2017 they counted 1390
not sure how they counted them when they are all fluttering around
we had trouble counting that one which i think we counted three times

in 2018 they counted 205

whatever it is they are gone
hopefully not forever

can we save them
maybe maybe not

at our school garden we planted 3 native milkweeds and one tropical milkweed
we got a lot of monarch caterpillars that chewed all the milkweeds up
maybe our small contribution will help

why dont you do something to help
click and read this nice usda article on the monarchs
do something about climate change

the organicgreen doctor

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

getting old

these are the words that i dont want to utter
im getting old

over the last week i have thought about it a lot
its been a week since i started this cataract journey
its made me think a lot about
am i getting old

ive been fighting getting old since i retired 8 years old
so far
i think ive been winning
this last week

after the second surgery last week to remove the dislocated lens
i started thinking
im getting old

my day starts with a 2-3 hour bout of computer time
its the only time i get on the computer the rest of the day
i know after i get my 3 cups of coffee and take my aricept (donnepezil) that i will have a burst of energy that will usually last until 100pm
then i start fading some
i take a nap
usually about an hour or so
i also take that time to watch my favorite news show and to watch my favorite sports show
after the nap i get up and do some busy work inside or outside until our evening meal
having lost some of that busy energetic self

now i will have a good 8-12 hrs of good energy
enough to do what i like to do
it rarely ever involves sitting still except for my computer time and my nap time
that is
until this last week
half my day is spent putting those 5 eye drops in my eye four times a day with five minutes between the drops
you can do the math to see how much time gets eaten up by those drops
cutting into my getting things done time

i developed double vision if i tried to not use a lens on my surgerized eye side since its starting to approach normal
so i popped my old lens for someone with real bad vision back in to stop my double vision
so right now my vision is right where i was when i started before the surgery

the plan is to pop a contact in the non surgerized eye tomorrow so i can then use the improving surgerized eye without glasses on
which will eliminate the double vision
yes i tripped over a lot of cracks in the sidewalk when we went walking holding onto my wife she as i went along
this is a place i dont want to be in
also going up and down the stairs was hard since i couldnt tell which stair was real and which was an illusion
i took my time
held onto the rail
held onto my wife she
like some little old elderly man with my bernie glasses on

you can forget driving
once i put my old glasses on all that went away
i just couldnt see as well out of the surgerized eye looking through the old lens
for now that will have to do

i was even able to drive with my old glasses

hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day on the eye front
i realized that i might not be wearing glasses again after 56 years of wearing glasses
i realized that i have never owned a pair of sunglasses
only clipons or bernie over the glasses sunglasses or those tinted lens that made it hard to see since my prescription was so strong

i dont know i might have to just pop out both lenses or have fake lenses put in my glasses so i can wear them
wearing glasses seems to be embedded in my dna since ive worn them for so long

a new world tomorrow
for the better if i can get the surgerized eye to 20/20

someone asked me yesterday at the ucla research center
are you going to get the other one done
i dont think so i said
ill decide after all this trauma is over with
probably not i thought later

ill just may have to accept being a one eyed willie forever

the organicgreen doctor