welcome to the organic green doctor blog

i am a family physician who was diagnosed with
early mild cognitive impairment(mci) amnestic type on december 21, 2010
this is a precursor to alzheimers disease
because of this diagnosis i have opted to stop practicing medicine
this blog will be about my journey with this disease
please feel free to follow me along this path
i will continue blogging on organic gardening, green living,
solar power, rainwater collection, and healthy living
i will blog on these plus other things noted to be interesting

Friday, April 30, 2021

organicgreendoctor: alzheimers news-changing a 4 to a 2

organicgreendoctor: alzheimers news-changing a 4 to a 2: ALZHEIMERS NEWS-CHANGING A 4 TO A 2 if i could have changed my 4 to a 2 i would do it no matter what it entails whats a 4 whats a 2 whats a ...

alzheimers news-changing a 4 to a 2


if i could have changed my 4 to a 2 i would do it no matter what it entails

whats a 4
whats a 2
whats a 3

its the apoe 4 gene
it is also called the late onset alzheimers gene
its involved in lipid metabolism in the body and especially in our case the brain

apoe 2 represents about 13% of you lucky ones with at least one copy of this gene
if you have just one copy of apoe 2 then you lower your risk of getting late onset alzheimers by 40%

apoe 3 represents most of yall not me

apoe 4 is found in about 25% of us
if you have one copy of apoe 4 you have a 2-3 times increased risk of getting late onset alzheimers 
the apoe 4 apoe 4 homozygous is found in about 2% of us and can increase the risk 12 times for getting late onset alzheimers disease

over 50% of the late onset alzheimers disease cases may be associated with this apoe 4 gene

those numbers vary somewhat based on what scientific article you read

basically you want the apoe 2 gene since it tends to protect you against getting late onset alzheimers
the apoe 3 gene will give you a milder version of the late onset alzheimers disease
the apoe 4 homozygous or double version apoe 4 apoe 4 makes it likely you will get late onset alzheimers 
not definitely but most likely 

so you want apoe 2 then if you cant have that one you want the apoe 3 then if you cant get that one you get stuck with the sucky apoe 4
if you feel real unlucky you get the apoe4 apoe 4 gene

these genes you inherit from you parents
you have no choice
you can get
apoe 2 apoe 2
apoe 2 apoe 3
apoe 2 apoe 4
apoe 3 apoe 3
apoe 3 apoe 4
apoe 4 apoe 4

these are listed from best to worse
any apoe 4 gene is worse than no apoe 4 gene 

scientists in new york have plans to take an adenovirus and place the apoe 2 gene in its genome
the virus will be injected into the cistern of the brain of folks like me who have the apoe 4 apoe 4 gene hoping to inject the apoe 2 gene into the cells of the brain to replace the sucky apoe 4 gene

these patients will all have mild cognitive impairment or early alzheimers and carry the apoe 4 apoe 4 gene

if it works then the apoe 2 gene will take over in the brain to offer some protection for the brain cells

fyi cisterns are pockets of spinal fluid in various parts of the brain
just imagine how they must get that needle or probe into the brain to inject those apoe 2 adenoviruses into the spinal  fluid


here is the link to the article about this
here is the link to the clinicaltrials.gov research study on it

its a phase 1 study of a limited number of folks
i dont qualify since i am about to enter the biogen aducanumab study 
i would do it though if i could

thats how you can change a 4 to a 2 to slow down alzheimers disease

if you have the apoe 4 gene like 15-25% of you do then you need to live a healthy life to counter the effects of having the apoe 4 gene
you could just have you cisterns injected with this adenovirus with apoe 2 dna in it

maybe lifestyle changes would be easier huh

the organicgreen doctor

Thursday, April 29, 2021

organicgreendoctor: garden news-collard tree greens

organicgreendoctor: garden news-collard tree greens: GARDEN NEWS-COLLARD TREE GREENS this is ms b and mr hudson putting out compost in their raised bed garden they have both dug in the garden e...

garden news-collard tree greens


this is ms b and mr hudson putting out compost in their raised bed garden
they have both dug in the garden enough so that i just gave them a 5 gallon bucket of compost and they spread it out pretty evenly over the bed
they then planted a row of green bean vine seeds 
yes they are getting there those two organic green gardeners
mr n is now getting exposed to the garden but he isnt mobile enough yet to start digging in the dirt

this is a walking stick kale or walking stick cabbage
other names are cow cabbage tree collard tree kale cow kale 
here is a wikipedia link to its history 

for this one i just cut off a foot long branch of a momma walking stick kale and just stuck it in the ground at the end of one of my 3ft x 8 ft garden beds
it now has grown into this 4 ft tall tree 
here is a link in how to propagate one

note that link mentions using a granular fertilizer which is not organic
i used an organic fertilizer and compost and liquid fertilizer seaweed molasses mix on mine

this cabbage tree or walking stick kale or whatever you want to call it is from the jersey islands in the channel islands
all this is in the links above and in this link

i see a walking stick in my future also

you can buy seeds for this walking stick kale at this link or google it
the plant can be hard to find

the best time to eat the leaves is in the winter months
i decided after waiting a few months that it was time for me to eat me some tree collard greens

i am a southerner who grew up eating collard greens usually cooked in some type of meat like hog jowls or ham hocks etc
i am mostly vegetarian now i found this good vegetarian crock pot recipe in the southern living magazine
click here to see the recipe

i added garlic and hickory liquid smoke and olive oil and two pads of butter to the pot
i pulled one of my softball sized texas 1015 onions from my garden and added it also

this is what the collard tree looks like when i got through with it
looks like a rabbit or deer had a good time on that tree
it was togd

i also each week pick the smaller leaves to use in our salads 
they are tasty and tender

this collard tree will be allowed to regrow more leaves
i will make another pot of tree collard greens
that pot will have tomatoes garlic onions and of course collards from my garden

these collards are easy to cook
i washed them and soaked them 
the birds seem to like these trees a lot
regular collard greens will have a lot of dirt on them 
these collard tree collards do not have much dirt on them

after washing i chopped them up with knife
i added a few chopped up stems to the mix also

i dropped it in the crock pot added my vegetable broth and seasonings
added my chopped up texas sweet 1015 softball sized onion
added my chopped up garlic and a can of diced tomatoes and peppers
following the recipe except for the additional items mentioned above
i cooked them on low for  9 hours

i must say our condo smelled like a southerners kitchen all day

i plated me up a giant serving of these greens
a piece or two or three of my wife shes cast iron skillet cornbread

i closed my eyes and took a long breath through my nose
smelling those walking stick collard greens
i could smell my moms kitchen 

the organicgreen doctor

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

organicgreendoctor: my story revisited #84-our video was entered in th...

organicgreendoctor: my story revisited #84-our video was entered in th...: MY STORY REVISITED #84-OUR VIDEO THAT WAS ENTERED IN THE NEUROFILM FESTIVAL 2013 in 2012 the alzheimers research center asked my wife she an...

my story revisited #84-our video was entered in the neurofilm festival 2013


in 2012 the alzheimers research center asked my wife she and i if we would do a video telling my story 
i didnt know it would take so much work to do the video
they interviewed and filmed me and her for over 5 hours
one session was at our beloved country n

the people seen in this video sat and cried or teared up with us several times over the 6 years we went there and during the filming of the video

it is still on the alzheimers centers website ofthe university of texas southwestern in dallas
that link can be found by clicking here

at the beginning of the video is a picture of my mom and me at our nephews wedding
at this point she had not been diagnosed yet with alzeimers disease

the video was submitted to the neurofilm fest 2013 at the academy of neurology annual meeting in san diego
videos on neurological stories were submitted

our video got number 4 or 5
it was viewed several thousands of times

the important thing about the video was that my story got our there for others to see hoping that it encouraged those with memory issues to seek help early in their disease

people continue to view this video
i still hope it influences folks to seek help


this is the video that ive posted before and that many of you have watched

the video was made by the alzheimers research center at the university of
texas southwestern medical center
it has been shown on multiple alzheimers websites and several federal websites
like the nih and on the huffington post

that is a picture of my mother who died with alzheimers disease
it also hit her husband my father and her youngest son my younger brother
and appears to have got me also

the video that was done about my story with possible alzheimers
has been entered in the neurofilm festival
the winner of the entries will get recognition
for their involvement with in our case
alzheimers disease education and advocacy

you can vote for the video
as thats how they determine which of the 70+ videos that are
entered this year will win

the winning video will be shown and recognition given at this
years american academy of neurology convention in
san diego

even among neurologists alzheimers patients are avoided
winning this award will help highlight this terrible disease to
this important group of specialists

if you like our video please go through these easy to follow steps to vote for us
click on  this link or go to www.patients.aan.com/go/about/neurofilmfestiv

its easy even i did it right the first time

after creating a user profile
an email is sent to your email account
click on activate your account
go to the 24th entry (they are in alphabetical order)

former physician takes action in the face of alzheimers

click on the name and watch the video if youve not seen it before
click vote

thats it
encourage people you know to help us spread the word on
alzheimers disease

thanks to all our friends family former patients readers of this blog
and those others we dont know but appreciate


thanks to everyone for the overwhelming and warm response
to the neurofilm festival entry of our video

this video has had over 1200 viewings in the last 24 hours
it is now in second place out of 70+ videos in the number of total votes
behind by only 36 votes

voting is open until midnight valentines day february 14

your continued support is appreciated

to vote and register
go to http://patients.aan.com/go/about/neurofilmfestival

its easy to do just follow the directions
and vote

our video is titled
former physician takes action in the face of alzheimers


heres the update on our video
former physician takes action in the face of alzheimers

it appears that we ended up in 4th or 5th place in the fan favorite
portion of the neurofilm festival

the video which you can watch by clicking the title above
has been watched by hundreds of people in the last week

compared to the other videos and the one that won first place
it was watched three times as much as the number one video

this video has been on youtube for several months
its link and the video itself has been featured in this blog and 
on several alzheimers association websites and the 
national institute of healths website and the huffington post

but since this contest its viewership seems to have taken off
in fact since the contest ended on thursday night the numbers 
who view it have continued to grow

for that reason i consider this entry into the neurofilm festival
after all its getting the film out there with its story on early detection 
that is important

plus the grand prize selection is not related to the popular vote
but is based on 
the story 
the quality of the film 
the presentation of the story 

that will be decided in early march

whether we win that one or the runner up and get our video 
shown at the american academy of neurology or not
as long as more and more people view the video and 
listen to the story 
thats whats more important

if i am remembering this correctly our video won the popular vote
we got the most viewings and votes but we didnt win the contest
our word got out to thousands of people

what is that word
get evaluated early if you have memory loss
support those organizations that support those affected by this disease

yes i still tear up when i watch that video

the organicgreen doctor

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

organicgreendoctor: filling that big hole

organicgreendoctor: filling that big hole:  FILLING THAT BIG HOLE in 2011 my wife she and i made the trip down hwy one or the pacific highway from san francisco down to santa barbara ...

filling that big hole

in 2011 my wife she and i made the trip down hwy one or the pacific highway from san francisco down to santa barbara
of course since then we have made the trip down the pacific highway from santa barbara to los angeles
passing through malibu
that route is the one we take sometimes coming back from ucla since there is a long stretch along the beaches that is beautiful to drive on 
there are no cliffs

in 2011 as i documented in this blog not long after we drove through big sur the road collapsed and fell down into the ocean
if you have ever driven this road you know its a long way down to the ocean below
it took them months to repair the road

then earlier this year around February it happened again
i wrote about it in this blog titled missing highway

when i read about it i thought what would it be like to be that first person to drive up to that big ole v shaped hole
looking down over the hood of your car on the edge of a new cliff peering down into the surf below

its things nightmares are made of

caltrans photo

in the photo above from cal trans you can see the v shaped defect left from the road collapse
what is interesting to me is that piece of heavy equipment sitting on the edge of the middle of that reverse triangle of dirt hopefully well packed into that funnel hole left in the hillside
how brave is that heavy equipment operator working that machine to move dirt with the cliffs edge just a few feet away

that wouldnt be me

what i want to know is how the heck do they anchor that dirt in that funnel so with the next heavy rains it dont just slide down that hill again like melting ice cream in an ice cream cone

i cant sleep at night thinking about it
here is a good article from our local newsfeed noozhawk about the repair

plus there are no side rails in most places there

would i be the first person to drive over that fixed defect once the road is opened
no thats not for me

ive done big sur once and im happy
since then 
parts of the road has fallen in like that at least twice since we made our big sur trip
twice too many for me

also since our first trip down big sur ten years ago a family went over the edge into the crashing rocky surf below

im done for sure
i did my big sur trip
its like jumping out of an airplane
you only do it once
once is enough for me

the organicgreen doctor

Monday, April 26, 2021

organicgreendoctor: covid 19-its real awfully bad there but not as bad...

organicgreendoctor: covid 19-its real awfully bad there but not as bad...: COVID 19-ITS REAL AWFULLY BAD THERE BUT NOT AS BAD HERE  as the pandemic gets better here in the us we have to keep a close eye on what is g...

covid 19-its real awfully bad there but not as bad here

as the pandemic gets better here in the us we have to keep a close eye on what is going on in the rest of the world
we can control it here but if its not controlled elsewhere in the world it will be back here in greater numbers if we dont help them out to get their populations immunized

you cant quarantine yourself out of this 

i remember when i was in practice in the austin area eg i saw a sick child in my office 
just 24 hours earlier he had ended a summer stay in sudan
his diagnosis malaria
he was adequately treated with drugs here in the us

whats there can be here the next day 
so it can be with covid 19
one infection can lead to thousands in a matter of weeks

we cant let our vigilance to keep this pandemic under control

india is totally getting overwhelmed
folks are turned away from the hospitals
the hospitals are running out of oxygen 
when the oxygen runs out the patients die soon afterwards

we have to help take care of the world to help take care of ourselves

someone sick in michigan or new york or new jersey can be in your town the same day they leave there
what is happening in other states is important to all of us

in michigan and new york and other northern states things are starting to tick down some
michigan has dropped down about 10% in cases last week
their numbers are still high

in the us we are having around 50,000 cases a day 
10,000 cases are where we need to be
actually zero is even better
that might not ever happen  here in the us again

here in santa barbara our numbers continue to drop
we were down 20% last week
california has one of the lowest rates in the country

i knew things were getting better yesterday when i went to trader joes
there was no old people hour
i had to wipe down my own cart
there wasnt a long line waiting to get in
no one was outside counting the number going in and going out
as i checked out they even bagged my groceries in my reusable shopping bags
i asked them
you mean i dont have to take my stuff outside to bag them myself
no they said
good i said since i cant bag them as good as yall do

as goes trader joes so goes our response to this pandemic

also i read this morning that
the houston memorial hospital system will require all employees to be vaccinated
soon to follow will be baylor college of medcine and the houston memorial hermann hospital system

here ucsb will also require all staff and students this fall to be immunized

this will be happening all across the us in many industries and other places of employment and places of entertainment 

be ready when it happens
get your vaccination
your immunization record will be an important document

when the liability insurances start requiring this or more likely when they refuse to cover any covid 19 liabilities you will see more of these vaccine requirements

science can now track down the source of infections which means the suits will follow soon afterwards
i am already seeing the ads on tv

the solutions to all of this 

wear your mask
follow cdc guidelines on socialization
watch these guidelines closely as they will be changing frequently over the next few weeks
limit travel
if you do travel follow the cdc guidelines

i spoke with an acquaintance yesterday 
he has had his two vaccines
he is in the medical field
he still has to be tested 3 times a week anyway 
he has to wear a mask always at work
they have had no outbreaks in their high risk facility 

wash your hands

i still do all of these
i have liberalized my activities some but am still following the cdc guidelines and the states guidelines

we are closer to getting back to normal
i look forward to that day 

we all have to do this together 
to defeat this pandemic

the organicgreendoctor

Friday, April 23, 2021

organicgreendoctor: alzheimers news-keep an eye on this new alzheimers...

organicgreendoctor: alzheimers news-keep an eye on this new alzheimers...: ALZHEIMERS NEWS-KEEP AN EYE ON THIS NEW ALZHEIMERS MED my drug is made by biogen and its called aducanumab it has gone through phase one stu...

alzheimers news-keep an eye on this new alzheimers med


my drug is made by biogen and its called aducanumab
it has gone through phase one studies and then phase 3 studies
it will either be approved for use in the us or not approved in the us in two months
if approved it will eventually be available for those with early alzheimers disease or mci mild cognitive impairment due to alzheimers disease

if not approved it will probably have to do a phase 4 study to show how well the higher dose really works

the extension of the phase 3 study is the one that i am hopefully about to start up and get aducanumab infusions for two years
its sort of biogens way of doing a phase 4 study

either way i will get at least two more years of the higher dose aducanumab

aducanumab is a monoclonal antibody derived from older folks who dont get alzheimers disease
this antibody is mass produced in the lab then given as an infusion on a monthly basis

it removes the amyloid plaques in the brain 
in the phase one and phase 3 studies it removed all the measurable amyloid plaques in the brain
there was noticed at higher doses that the memory decline in the year it was given decreased significantly 
is that decrease enough to make a difference

a cure no 
a treatment to slow down the disease yes maybe

now enter another monoclonal antibody against amyloid plaques
i think of it as the next generation of antibody treatments against amyloid
aducanumab would be the first generation 

the drug is called biogens ban2401 in research but its official name is lecanemab
here is clinical trials.gov link to this phase 3 study on lecanemab

here is a good review article of how lecanemab works and the studies that have been done

basically the lecanemab binds to amyloid protofibrils which leads to the removal of amyloid plaques in the brain

in the early studies lecanemab removed after 18 months of treatment over 93% of these plaques seen on amyloid pet scans
even after a period of no treatment when the study was paused these plaques didnt seem to reaccumulate

in my study the treatments have been paused now for almost 2 years
i received 18 months of placebo and 7 months of the real drug
it will be interesting to see any of the plaques reaccumulated when they do my amyloid pet scan next month
of course i wont get to know what the results are

in the lecanemab study after higher doses were given there was a 30-47% reduction in cognitive decline
thats much better than in my study aducanumab
better than lillys new drug dramecanb which is now about to start phase 3 studies

also when the lecanemab was discontinued for those two years memory decline increased once the lecanemab was stopped

my guess is the lecanemab might work better than donanemab and aducanumab
aducanumab will be on the market sooner if its approved

if you have a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment due to alzheimers disease or early alzheimers keep an eye on 

the approval of aducanumab this summer
if its approved you may qualify for treatment when its on the market
if i wasnt in the aducanumab study already i would try to start the aducanumab treatments once they are approved
remember there will be no other option for treatment to slow it down for a few years

if you think you might have preclinical alzheimers or prodromal alzheimers
ie no symptoms but with positive biomarkers like on amyloid pet scans or spinal fluid markers or blood markers
eg that would have been me when i was 50 years old

there are new treatment studies starting using these drugs
again access clinical trials.gov and type in alzheimers disease and preclinical alzheimers 

for clinical research studies that you may qualify for
just type in lecanemab or donanemab in the clinical trials.gov website to find studies available near you

in summary 
my drug aducanumab may be available after 2 months or it can be delayed until more studies are done

lecanemab and donanemab if approved could be 5 years away from approval
you can access early treatment by volunteering to be in a clincial trial

right now there are no new meds that will be available sooner that i know of
there are  several other promising drugs in phase one studies or in earlier research that are also promising

for me
aducanumab is the only one that could possibly help me
the others will take too long to be available

for many of you 
laecanemab or donanemab may be the drug
one of those new ones that are further back in the research world

knowing what i know now and having watched my mom and younger brother go through that long alzheimers journey 
i would definitely had it been available when i was 50 would have started aducanumab when i was in my preclinical alzheimers state

many of you are there now you just dont know it yet

the organicgreen doctor

Thursday, April 22, 2021

organicgreendoctor: garden news-volunteers in the garden

organicgreendoctor: garden news-volunteers in the garden: GARDEN NEWS-VOLUNTEERS IN THE GARDEN yesterday when i entered the garden early in the morning just as the sun peaked  over the trees i looke...

garden news-volunteers in the garden


yesterday when i entered the garden early in the morning just as the sun peaked  over the trees i looked around 
i could see all these volunteers in the garden
not humans
some edible
some not edible
some vegetables
some flowers

this sunflower above appeared in my garden path a few weeks ago
i am sure some bird planted it for me
since it was not in my way i decided to let it stay there
this unknown volunteer sunflower

last week it was about 5 ft tall 
this week it is well over 6 ft tall

its some type of giant sunflower
time will tell if it has one big seed head on it or several smaller seed heads

the sunflower will provide nectar and pollen and food for bees butterflies and birds 
the bees crawl all over it
after the seeds all form i will either leave it hanging for the birds to eat
i might cut off the seed head and let the chickens eat the sunflower seeds

i plan on leaving the stalk in place
at the base i will either plant a red malabar spinach vine pictured below
i might plant a vining tatume squash
both of them will vine all the way up the sunflower stalk

this is borage
it is a bee magnet
it seeds through out the garden 
if its not in the way i just leave it in place
the blue flowers are edible
i use them in salads for color

these are poppies that are also all over our garden
i have a lot of them along the outside border of my garden bed
if they arent in the way i leave them in place
sometimes though they pop up in the wrong place so sadly i have to remove them
recently i had to remove some so i brought them home to put in a flower arrangement
ms b informed me
you know you arent suppose to pick the poppies
she was listening to her kindergarten teacher

this is chamomile
it has the right of way in our garden
this one popped up in the walkway between the onion bed and the leek bed
the white flowers have all fallen off 
those orange flowers in the picture above are poppies that havent opened up yet

several human volunteers in the garden harvest the chamomile for chamomile tea 

here many people look at purslane as a weed
i know in texas i use to buy it every year and plant it in the garden
it has a pretty flower on  it
this one is a yellow version
it is a succulent i think

i harvest it to use it in salads

we get a lot of it in the garden here 
sometimes i will pull it up since it grows like in a mat
then i place it around my vegetables as a mulch

this is purple amaranth
it is a grain 
soybean farmers for example see it as a invasive weed
the grain that purple plume at the top can be harvested and used as a grain
you can buy amaranth grains at the supermarket

i use it like this 
the small tender leaves are harvested and used in salads
the larger leaves are harvested and used in stir fries or in a pot of greens with collards or kale or swiss chard

this is a volunteer malibar spinach vine 
its ancestor was bought years ago at the natural gardener in austin texas
it reseeds every year

the day we drove from austin to santa barbara i harvested several of the baby plants
placed them in a zip lock bag
on arrival three years ago i planted them in my garden

we use the smaller leaves in salads
the bigger leaves we use in spinach casseroles or my wife she makes a mean sag paneer with it 

this is a volunteer tomato that i found growing in my garden path 
i dug it up and transplanted it into the large tomato bed we have in the community garden
i labelled it
the mystery tomato

so in our community garden we use a lot of volunteers to take care of our garden
we also use these volunteers above in our garden
i must say this time of year 
these plant volunteers are the showcase in the garden

this is one reason i volunteer myself

the organicgreen doctor

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

organicgreendoctor: my story revisited #83-my brother revisited

organicgreendoctor: my story revisited #83-my brother revisited: MY STORY REVISITED #83-MY BROTHER REVISITED yesterday as we drove down to ucla to do my first mri in the continued biogen aducanumab study i...

my story revisited #83-my brother revisited


yesterday as we drove down to ucla to do my first mri in the continued biogen aducanumab study i thought a lot about my younger brother who died in the final stage of alzheimers disease about 6 months after i wrote this blog
i would see him one more time after that visit

a lot of thoughts went through my head as i stood and looked at the entry to the mri research center where i would get my first of nine mris in biogens aducanumab study 

during the mri scan you are locked in place
for me yesterday it was around 30 minutes
i usually close my eyes and day dream

why me i thought 
why am i still here 8 years later and he is gone

it has taken a lot of effort on my part to get to where i am now soon to get monthly infusions of biogen aducanumab that will probably slow down the disease some 
how much it slows things down we wont know for a couple of years

would it have helped him or was his disease too advanced 
i think it was too late for him
it would have had to be started even before he was diagnosed 

all of this wasnt available when he was alive

now you can get in treatment studies that may help
you can get an early diagnosis 
for some they can even be diagnosed before symptoms start

we are getting closer to a treatment to slow it down some

its like having a terminal cancer and you opt for chemo treatment to slow the cancer down some knowing you will not get a cure

most of us in the alzheimers world would accept slowing it down some

even for me it may be too late
it would have been better if i could have been treated 10 years ago

for his kids and my kids and their kids there will be treatments available 
some before symptoms start

whatever time it gives me by slowing things down i will take it


this is what my younger brother did for years
as a fireman
he retired after twenty years as a captain
after retirement he worked for several years as
a deputy sheriff who traveled with a drug dog
all the time
he served a rural area by himself and one of his
dogs were always by side
he could signal the dog who stayed in the car when
he stopped someone but a signal brought the
dog out immediately
he and his dog found a lost 5 year old once and was
used multiple times to track escaped prisoners or
lost persons

so thats his face my brother
a father a fireman a policeman
a hardworking likable friendly helpful person

this has all now been stolen from him by the disease

its a slow process sometimes
it steals your ability
to drive
how to operate the car

you cant find the keys
you cant find anything
you are lost inside
your family feels you slowly drifting away
daddy honey where are you
we miss you so much and want you back

but alzheimers you see is unforgiving
you dont ever come back you just continue going away
until its all over

these are the things i think about a lot
especially like i was two weekends ago
visiting with my brother in the alzheimers center
the stare the alzheimers stare he has now
its the same that my mother had
the occasional smile so you know hes in there somewhere

that robust fireman
that honorable deputy sheriff who was fair and honest
and who did good things when he rescued that little girl
and when he protected us
now he is reduced by this terrible disease to a core of himself

its so sad so sad
i think about him a lot and even dream about him a lot

heck last night he and i went with my historian brother who was
driving a large truck cross country
we had some good adventures together like we did when
we were younger some we can never talk about
then i woke up
and i came back to reality

alzheimers has and is stealing him away
like it stole my mother and started stealing my dad

there is a chance
and time will tell
when it will begin to steal me

you know
im ready if that happens
it seems mine may be a slow process
at least for now
so i have time to enjoy things and to do things i might not have
done if i didnt know
i wish he would have known too so
he could have extracted more like i am from life

at least i know
and can deal with it
its the not knowing and having it sneak up on you and your family
i think is worse

so brother
we miss you
we think of you every day
but i remember the fireman the deputy sheriff the father you were


the organicgreen doctor
when i was diagnosed in 2010 i really didnt think that today some of you who were my patients would still me messaging me asking me health questions and i would still be cognitively intact to be able to answer your questions 

i know how lucky i am to still be here and be cognitively normal ten years later

the organicgreen doctor