welcome to the organic green doctor blog

i am a family physician who was diagnosed with
early mild cognitive impairment(mci) amnestic type on december 21, 2010
this is a precursor to alzheimers disease
because of this diagnosis i have opted to stop practicing medicine
this blog will be about my journey with this disease
please feel free to follow me along this path
i will continue blogging on organic gardening, green living,
solar power, rainwater collection, and healthy living
i will blog on these plus other things noted to be interesting

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

dear ms b-wit helps


ms b
your gma and i like to watch good tv
like pbs news
voice well thats my choice
better call saul
good sports events
just to name a few

so last night as i clicked on the tv to watch my
afternoon sports show
as the tv came on it was on hbo for some reason
there on the tv was this professor giving a lecture
for some reason i clicked on the info button
well i thought
its got 3 stars
its an older movie
its description looked interesting
stars emma thompson
on a pulitzer prize winning novel
called by the same name as the movie

so just the name spurred my interest
i looked at gma
she looked at me
lets watch it she said

thinking man i like my afternoon sport show
my pre glass of wine show

but something spurred interest inside me
maybe ms b
it was fate

so we started watching it
hooked soon we were
yes ms b i shed tears right and left
even my collar on both sides was moist

you see ms b
she has terminal cancer this college professor
she heads down a lengthy painful uncomfortable path
to experimental treatment for her cancer
knowing what was going to happen eventually
whether she does this treatment or not

her journey
was painful
eye opening some
thus the name of the movie

now as someone ms b who also may have a terminal illness
whose end result is unstoppable
i felt drawn into this movie
feeling her discomfort with the medical care and with the disease

for you see ms b
i am on the other side now
on her side
like her i am in research studies
soon hopefully if i am lucky
to be in one using experimental treatment
that may or may not help me
but it may be the answer or part of the answer for curing or slowing down
the disease that terminal one that may affect me one day
the one that took my mother and my younger brother
that also may be at work in my older brother
it seems so unfair at times

now ms b
it seems for some reason i have pushed mine down the road
a bit
hopefully further and further down the road

i watched
saw the things i see now on the other side
i think
that all medical students and residents and interns
heck even practicing doctors
should watch this movie
yes yall some of yall are just like this

all ancillary medical folks like xray techs lab folks nurses
receptionists even friends should watch this movie
yes this is what some of your patients are going through
could you throw on some personal touch to each patient maybe

the one person who shone through all this was a nurse
ms wits nurse
caring and understanding
the boulder between the patient and the medical system

yes nurses looked good in this movie

yes she died in the end
we knew it was going to happen
couldnt stop it
we couldnt unless we just turned it off

we watched her get that indignity of that end of life cpr that she didnt want

wonder if i had watched this when i was in practice
maybe before i became a doctor
when i was in training
if this would have made me more compassionate

i think this movie is going to hang in my brain
in my heart in my soul
for awhile

the organicgreen doctor

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