dear ms b-its was like texas

DEAR MS B-IT WAS LIKE TEXAS

ms b
i told your gma last month
i cant believe we live here
its like
we died and went to heaven

why
now in august when its hotter than hades
in texas
well
i sit here in my chair with the doors open in the early morning
wrapped up in a blanket
yes
i said wrapped in a blanket
then
when i go down to the farmers market on the weekend
at around 830 am
well
i have to wear a light jacket hoodie to stay warm

of course as the day goes on it warms up
so off goes the jacket
and
on goes the flip flops
my shoe of choice since moving here

then
ms b
as you well know since you live here also
things just got turned around

the high one of them that gave the usa harvey
trapping it in one place to destroy houston and that area
it also trapped record setting heat
here in southern and well all over california

last week
as i was volunteering in the community garden
planting leeks
i was hoeing weeds around 1000 am
in the sun

i got woozy
i thought to myself
am i getting like these folks around here
cant tolerate a little humidity and heat
am i
now getting acclimatized
being one of them

so i leaned on my hoe
ms b
you know there in the garden where you go to
see the chickens you call cluck clucks
i thought
man im done
so
i went over to the shade
sat down
drank all my water
went home
sat on our patio
looked at my phone
now its 1100 am here
it was 95
thats both the temp and the humidity

now i understand why i was so woozy like

now in texas this time of year i would start in the garden
at 630 am and usually quit before 1000 am

then
as the week went on
it just got hotter and hotter here

now in texas i would just go in and crank up the ac unit
well
here not many people have ac units
we dont

it is hard i guess to justify since this weather only happens warm
like this for a week or two each year

i sort of ran the numbers
if we rented a cheap motel room during all this heat
for 1-2 weeks and do that for about 10-15 years
that would be how much it would cost to get ac here
so
ill just suck it up
pretend im back in arkansas where i grew up
in that small hot house
with no ac
hotter than hades
using fans to cool off

well here at least we have the swimming pool
and
the beach a couple miles away
so
we i must add didnt suffer too much

then as the hot days went on and on
a reprieve headed our way
dropping rain and dropping the temps
making it back like it was
not at all like in texas

then
i guess to make us feel at home
a rare texas like thunderstorm dropped in
to the local harbor
when i say drop i mean dropped round down
out of the sky
now when i saw the film of the storm
i told your gma
huh that looks like what i would call a small tornado
they the weather folks
called it a microburst

it tipped over boats
spun the harbor police boat around and around in circles
flipped off roofs
flipped over trees
threw large huge heavy umbrellas around like balloons
lots of folks had to be plucked off the water
where they were thrown from surfboards small boats

it seems microburst was definitely not an accurate description

so this week
the heat the humidity the storm the small tornado
i think all happened
to welcome my wife she and i
to this area
to make us feel right at home

then
this happened
ms b you looked at us and said
look granddaddy
as
you
flashed
the hookem sign

welcome to california

the organicgreen doctor