welcome to the organic green doctor blog

i am a family physician who was diagnosed with
early mild cognitive impairment(mci) amnestic type on december 21, 2010
this is a precursor to alzheimers disease
because of this diagnosis i have opted to stop practicing medicine
this blog will be about my journey with this disease
please feel free to follow me along this path
i will continue blogging on organic gardening, green living,
solar power, rainwater collection, and healthy living
i will blog on these plus other things noted to be interesting

Friday, December 21, 2018

alzheimers news-a familys history

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when my historian brother saw my family tree in this blog i wrote called
alzheimers news-my alzheimers family tree
he called me to do a little correction like he was grading a term paper
no in a friendly way
he still said he would give me an a though

he started telling me of a branch that i had left off
one of my moms brothers who had died with alzheimers had a daughter
that would be my first cousin who died in the last few years with alzheimers disease
she being diagnosed in her early 50s

this little family branch i wasnt that familiar with
i remember seeing my uncle and hearing him when i was young
he was a preacher that had this what i call a preachers voice
the kind you could listen to all day
real soothing voice
he was a handsome man also

he went to college during the depression with my dad
neither had any money but they made it through
he went to a seminary in kentucky i think a sort of masters degree thing they did
he and his wife and two daughters ended up in missouri for the rest of their lives
i only have memory of seeing him once and dont remember his kids or wife
my older siblings had more exposure to them

so my historian brother said you know her daughter wrote a book about our first cousins battle with alzheimers disease
my historian brother is a true historian when he does ancestry stuff
he obtains all he can find on a person
thats how he found the book about my first cousins journey with alzheimers disease
lets call her pw

as i heard pws story i realize it somewhat seemed to be close to the journey my younger brother took
he said you can order it from amazon
so i did
it arrived in 2 days and i started reading it
it only took me a few days to finish it

it was sad real sad but funny
as she said sometimes you have to laugh at these things you know
yes i know having laughed before with mom and my younger brother
i hope folks laugh with me when my time comes
making it easier for them to get through the journey

its interesting to read about pw
i saw a lot of family traits in her that many of us seem to have
ocd persistence latching onto something and not letting go of it
ask my wife she about that one

now pws journey was similar to my younger brothers
but it was longer and more drawn out
making her family have a more prolonged experience with this disease
none of it enjoyable

they both were diagnosed young and died young

i did say to my wife she as i read this book
please dont take any pictures of me when i get worse

the part that stuck with me the most when i read this book
the part that made me stop
sit here in my living room late one afternoon
just staring out the window
as the sun went down in the distance
the room gradually darkened until i couldnt see anything around me
i just sat there
with tears in my eyes
as i read about her ending
her long long prolonged goodbye
as hospice made her comfortable
she lay there with her eyes closed
then opened them and said her goodbye
that was it

the journey was over

i sat there after finishing reading this
yes i cried then yes i cried again
thinking of her and her family
thinking of him and his family
thinking of what my time will be like for myself and my family

i do feel lucky that i am able to read and write about this
to think this through for myself

she and he didnt get a chance to do that

i wish it alzheimers in our family could all end with her he and me and not go forward

hopefully a cure and treatment will be here soon

the organicgreen doctor

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