welcome to the organic green doctor blog

i am a family physician who was diagnosed with
early mild cognitive impairment(mci) amnestic type on december 21, 2010
this is a precursor to alzheimers disease
because of this diagnosis i have opted to stop practicing medicine
this blog will be about my journey with this disease
please feel free to follow me along this path
i will continue blogging on organic gardening, green living,
solar power, rainwater collection, and healthy living
i will blog on these plus other things noted to be interesting

Friday, September 10, 2021

allzheimers news-where am i at


when i go back in time and read my old blogs its like reading my diary
well this blog is my diary sort of
sometimes i like to stop and access where i am at
physically emotionally mentally 

my motto now is take one day at a time
i try to do the things each day that i enjoy doing
i try to avoid conflict in my life
you can make me mad but you really have to work hard to do that

i dont usually sweat the small stuff
much of the small stuff doesnt matters much 
mostly what matters is the family

i do worry when will the alzheimers will take off
from my reading on my situation that when it does take off it will go fast
i am sort of delaying the inevitable slowing things down by
all the healthy things i do 
with taking the aricept (donepezil) so early in the disease
and now taking the monthly infusions of aduhelm (aducanumab)

when this drop off the cliff will occur i dont know when
when it does it will be fast

i just know i want things to be ready when it happens

i do want to stay around longer mentally as long as i can so i can enjoy my family my grandkids as long as possible
i want to see ms b graduate from high school but being realistic i know thats probably not going to happen
even if im alive i know that statistically i wont be there mentally to realize whats going on 
so i enjoy each encounter with her each week as well as with mr hudson and mr n

i dont ever let any of this get me down
i dont feel sorry for myself or feel sad or dont cry about it all 
i just go for it everyday thinking each day could be my last

i do worry about mr hudson as he will have a lot of ups and downs in his life as he ages
i wish i would be around to be there for him when he needs support
mr hudson i want you to know that i will always be there in spirit always

mr n i really dont worry about you
you will do well
i just wish i could see you grow up

im sure all grandparents think of these things but it seems i think more about it since i know what my decline will be like and what it will be from and that it will happen fast

i have outlived siblings and parents and friends and family i didnt expect to outlive
i am thankful for the opportunity to still be here physically and cognitively

i feel better physically than i have felt in a while
sometimes it makes me wonder if i really have anything wrong
you know science dont lie

i know that if i could see my amyloid scans and my tau scans i could see the progress of my disease over the last 10 years and i could also predict where my next symptoms will appear based on where the disease is in my brain
if my scans were done outside of the research studies then i could see them
far now
in the meantime
i will have to just wonder where i am at

the memory tests i do give me an idea where i am at
subtle memory issues may also give me a hint
you become hyperacute to any memory issues like forgetting a name or misplacing things or forgetting where you put something 

is it just normal aging or is it time

the other thing i worry about is 
making that transition to long term care
i realize that i wont make that decision 
it will be left to my family 

i do try to let them know my wishes now so i can be part of the decision  making process

i do want to move on to a facility when its time
i do not want to be where i am a burden to my wife she and family emotionally and physically 
when its time move me to the next level
dont blink an eye
you can be dang sure thats what i want done

also take care of yourself first then me

thats where i am at
september 10 2021

here is
hoping i can read this and write about it in another 10 years at home on my laptop
if not
its been a good journey so far

the organicgreen doctor


  1. I enjoy reading your blog and happy that you are doing so well after your diagnosis.
    My husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia August 2016. He passed away in June. It seemed slow at first, then gradual, and then at the beginning of June it was full steam ahead.
    I too have told my children to put me in a facility if it happens to me.

  2. thanks for reading my blog. sorry for your loss. lewy body dementia is tough for a loved one to have. togd